The opening salvo came as B&Q began a leaflet drop promoting their fitted kitchen offers – all well and good until they took to the car park at Alwood Kitchens!

Alfie Briggs had to do a double take as he saw a man sauntering into the car park laden with leaflets - which he promptly affixed to car windscreens with all the enthusiasm of a sadistic parking attendant.

Not sure what was going on staff from Alwood went out to check on the man – to discover he was from B&Q.

Taken aback by the cheek of the man Alfie came up with his own counter move – making a bee-line for Alwood's Red Kitchens, where he picked up some of his own leaflets.

Suitably armed he staged a daring daylight raid on the car park at B&Q where he began handing leaflets to customers – to save them the inconvenience of removing them from under their wipers.

It wasn't long before Alfie's activities were noted by management who decided a little DIY security was in order – asking Alfie what he was up to.

Alfie was happy to oblige, explaining how B&Q had leafleted his car park so he was honour bound to return the favour.

After a brief chat – and not an independent mediator in sight – B&Q agreed they would leave Alfie alone as long as he left them alone.

Honour satisfied Alfie took his leave – smiling at a job well done and with promises of visits from a few potential customers impressed with his initiative.

He told the 'MAIL': "The B&Q manager apologised and we did a deal. I'd prefer to get a third of their customers than them have a third of mine."

The 'MAIL' approached B&Q for a comment but no response was forthcoming at time of going to press.