Comedians at Craigavon PSNI charge Ophelia with tree counts of criminal damage

PSNI in Lurgan do a victory dance to celebrate the reopening of the station after ex-hurricane Ophelia
PSNI in Lurgan do a victory dance to celebrate the reopening of the station after ex-hurricane Ophelia

Ophelia caused havoc at Lurgan police station yesterday when she landed, including criminal damage to the roof.

So severe were the ex-hurricane’s gusts, she blew up a storm on the popular Lurgan venue’s roof causing serious damage.

Her tempest was so hostile the enquiry office had to be shut down yesterday.

However after she calmed down police at Lurgan Station were taking no nonsense and have charged her with a litany of crimes.

On the PSNI Craigavon Facebook they said: “Victory dance time to celebrate the reopening of Lurgan station enquiry office after Ophelia decided to go on the rampage on our roof.

“No match for our tech and maintenance guys.

“As for Ophelia, she’s been charged with:

-Blowing equipped

-Winding with intent

-Tree counts of criminal damage.

“Anyway, that’s the station open again for business.

“Come on in and tell wee J in the enquiry office your tales of woe. She’s delighted to be back at work today, honest.”