D’ya hear yer man

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Once you pop...

I was driving home the other day eating a tube of Pringles. When I got to our house the brakes failed and a drove into the wall. I guess it’s true what they say about Pringles.

Photo finish

Last Thursday Geoff and I went out newsgathering for the final time. After four decades at the Lurgan Mail, Geoff is stepping down as our staff photographer. The good news is he’s not hanging up his camera for good and hopefully he’ll be doing a bit of freelance work with us.

Geoff is the first to admit that he enjoys a good moan, but then when you’ve spent so much time dealing with negatives it must be difficult to look on the bright side.

Up until recently Geoff had worked in a sealed darkroom away from the rest of the ‘MAIL’ staff. In truth it had more to do with the egg and onion sandwiches in his lunchbox than his job as a photographer.

In terms of reliability Geoff is second to none, it’s just a pity his company car wasn’t as dependable. Just two weeks ago one of the wheels fell off his car as he was driving to work. Thankfully no one was hurt. Geoff’s take on it was that perhaps the car had decided to quit before he did.

When Geoff told me about the incident with the wheel falling off the car, I thought that would have made a great picture. It’s just a real pity there were no good photographers around when it happened.

Over the years, because of our matching surnames, a few people have assumed Geoff and I are father and son, and some have even gone as far as asking if we’re brothers. Geoff has done detailed research into his family tree and is able to prove that he is not related to me, even distantly. Maybe that’s why he carried out such a thorough study.

I’ve decided to go fairly easy on Geoff because, being a photographer, he has a stock of embarrassing photos he can hit back with. He has a snap of me dressed as an ageing Harry Potter and another of me with a giant gobstopper lodged in my mouth, but by far the most comprising photo he possesses is one of me posing with a Ray McLeod LP.

I’d like to take this opportunity to say thanks for the memories, Geoff. I’m sure the key principals of photography will stand you in good stead for the years ahead; keep things in perspective, stay focused, and don’t leave yourself overexposed by excessive flashing.

Getting on a bit

You know you’re getting on a bit when you appear in the history section of your local paper.

Last week’s ‘Way Back When’ page of the ‘MAIL’ featured a cheeky snap of my mate Craig Collen enjoying his summer holidays at the tender age of 4. Towards the back of the same paper Craig appeared again at the age of 34 on the Glenavon pages.

I can understand that some people feel a bit weary after reading the paper given the depth of news and sport packed into it, but last week was quite the recording breaking feat for Craig who aged 30 years in the space of 37 pages.

Fact of the week

Here’s this week’s fact of the week: If your birthday is in May you are entitled to a free public transport before 7am.

See next week’s Mail for another lesser known and indisputable fact.

Weekly teaser

The answer to last week’s teaser was: you can only subtract 2 from 32 once because after that you’re no longer left with 32.

Here’s this week’s teaser: Your last table tennis ball has fallen into a narrow metal pipe imbedded in concrete one foot deep. How can you get it out undamaged, if all the tools you have are your table tennis bat, your shoe-laces, and your water bottle?