Rooster on prescription

It’s a case of cock-a-doodle-don’t for one town dweller, who is being plagued by a rooster which he says has been prescribed to one of his neighbours.

The Lurgan man, who is finding the presence of a rooster in a built-up area hard to bear, claims the responsibility lies with the psychiatrist who prescribed the bird to a neighbour.

He said: “It appears the owner of the rooster has had slight issues with his mental well being. I am not criticising the owner as everyone of us has our own issues whether mental or physical.

“I mean I don’t go to the doctor with the flu and expect him to prescribe me an ostrich.

“The point is, no matter what your medical condition, a doctor should not be prescribing farm animals as a cure for your illness.”

He suggested the presence of one rooster could have a knock-on effect transforming the town into a rooster hot-spot: “It has been mentioned the bird was for the gentleman’s nerves.

“I do take pity on his affliction but if things keep going at this rate, what with the constant cock-a-doodle-doo, it is clear that other members of this community may also end up suffering with nervous problems and also be prescribed roosters as a means to ease this affliction.

“If this is the case then this part of Lurgan will be a menagerie of roosters. As the noise levels persist the roosters will further escalate their population and before we know it Lurgan will be a breeding ground of roosters intent on taking over our small community.”

He added: “The noise is unbearable and so frustrating.

“My nerves are on edge and I do fear I may have to go to the doctor and God only knows what I will end up with on my prescription.”