Only a matter of time before media rename Prince George

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One of the most enjoyable parts of having a new baby is picking a name for the little urchin.

In this day and age anything goes in terms of names and variations on spelling. If you like you can even name your baby after a point of the compass.

I feel sorry for poor William and Kate who, by Royal decree, probably had a list of no more than half a dozen names to choose from.

When I say poor William and Kate, the poor is not a reflection on their financial situation. I don’t think anyone is under any illusion that George Alexander Louis will be stuck for nappies and formula.

When regular parents pick their baby’s name a lot of them will run the possibilities past their own parents and grandparents to see what’s hot and what’s not. In the case of William and Kate, I’d wager that The Queen held a fair bit of sway in so far as there was never any chance the Royal couple were going to call their baby anything remotely ignoble like Ian, Paul or Barry.

But then, it doesn’t really matter what the Royal baby is christened because it’s only a matter of time before the media ruin his name anyway.

I’m led to believe, when he was a little baby, Charles and Diana called their eldest son ‘Wills’ within earshot of a journalist. Rather amazingly, and rather embarrassingly for William, it has stuck. I’m quite sure if Prince William had the choice he’d much rather be lovingly referred to in the press as Will.I.Am, were it not already ‘baggsied’ by his brother from another mother. Perhaps, if the Prince so desired it, the compromise of Will.I.Ams could both satisfy copyright issues and pay homage to his current nickname.

Either way, I’m guessing the press who are gathered on the royal doorstep are waiting with baited breath until either mum or dad utter a pet name for George Alexander Louis.

“Did Kate just call him Georgious? I’m sure she just called him Georgious.”

“I heard it too. Georgious - like a combination of George and gorgeous. Very clever.”

“It’s official. From henceforth his tabloid name will be Georgious. Get tweeting.”

Despite the possibilities of media manipulation, I’m glad that Will.I.Ams and Katez didn’t go for some outlandish name for their child, nor did they opt to name the boy after his father.

My father-in-law and brother-in-law are both called David. I think giving two people in the one household the same name is the stuff of madness, but credit to the two Davids, neither of them has opted for Dave or Davy, and yet when they’re both in attendance and ‘David’ is called they always seem to know which one of them is required.

What I don’t understand is, how come it’s acceptable for a father and son to share the same name, but if a father was to give two of his sons the same name he’d be locked in an asylum for the clinically insane, but not before CBS had bought the rights to the sitcom.

I suppose that’s were the Royals have it right. Because they have such a small pool of names from which to choose, each name must include a number. If Prince George gets to the throne he’ll be King George VII, never to be confused with any of the other six King Georges.

I’ve always envied people who are numbered, but sadly...

There’s only one Graeme Cousins.